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Online 6 days ago

SWM/36 in Lancaster, PA/Polite/HONEST/Humorous!

I am a:
Lancaster, PA, US
Looking for:
Mountain biking, Table-tennis, Billiards, ...
Specific duties, in the faith.
5'8"-5'11" (171-180cm)
Never smoked
no children
Want Children:
Yes, I want children
Woman, Man
Some college
$10,000 or less
Body Type:
Have some extra pounds
Eye Color:
Hair Color:

Hookup Personals

I´m a SWM / BHM (Big Handsome Man) / 5´9" / I was extruded on 09/24/1972 in Brooklyn, NY at 10:10 AM on Sunday morn'n / I weigh in at 260 LB / Short blk. hr. - Army Ranger-styled crew cut / Shaved head / Salt & pepper hr. / Big brn. eyes / Usually clean-shaven, but sometimes I maintain a little stubble / I wear size 12 boots, & size 13 shoes / I dress casually / Have lightly tanned skin / Wear glasses, w/black frames / No kids, but want someday / Never married. I'm SINGLE / No tatts / No body piercings / No pets / I live alone / I rent an apt. in the 'burbs' / Non-smk. / Non-drnk. / Messianic Jew (Believer in Jesus Christ). ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------My Attributes-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *Emotionally-stable ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *Honest --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *Humorous - I love to imitate others making folks laugh & to spread cheer is a birth-gift I've been given. I LOVE to mimic old song artists, as well. Funny stuff! Lol ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ *Very easy to talk to --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *Polite ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *Kind ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *Caring ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *Courteous ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *Considerate -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *Tactful ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *Creative -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *Flexible -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *On-time, (usually early, for a date) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ *Artistic --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *Affectionate -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *Passionate---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *S.O.S: - Looking for Old Friends From Maplebrook School Inc. *-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I attended Maplebrook School Inc. in Amenia, NY, from: 02/1989 - 06/1991 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------My Cooking Skills------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I am not that bad of a cook. I really enjoy it, but I don´t like cook´n alone, all by my lonesome. Y? Cuz it blows. It sux, & it´s no fun. I would pamper you, though, if I were to cook for you. I´d make you feel like you were in a restaraunt, fa´show, babs. I love a woman who knows how to cook, & cook GOOD. Ya don´t need to make anything extravagant for me, hon. Just keep it simple, & at least know whut the heck yer doi´n.... Lol I´m not that hard to please, although some women may beg to differ with me on that. Lol------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I'm A Pet Lover------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I love doggies! -- I used to have a huge cuddly basset houndypooie named ´Huckleberry.´ I love him so. He was the saddest thing in the whole wide world, & someday I´ll surely get another one. I like animals as a whole, but ... I LOVE bassets & bloodhoundies above the rest.. - bow-wow - Arrrroooooooooooooooo!! LOL I have specific ´likes´... -- Ask me, if yer curious. You may like them, as well(!) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------My Way Of Life-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Many people become very afraid of me for some reason when I tell them this, but I must tell the truth. - I am a misister. That's the line of work that I'm in. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I´m no yuppie, & I´m not fancy.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I´m stuck in a very low income bracket, so ... don´t be beg´n me for , or .... expecting me to fly you anywhere, b´cuz I just can´t, I´m sorry. There´s an old worldly saying, which´s actually true. - It goes: "Ya´ can´t squeez blood from a stone." `````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````My Being A Follower Of Christ Does Not Mean ...```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` ...that I've lost my manhood .....that I no longer have feelings like the average Joe who, has not been forgiven his sins, by Christ ....that I am 'poifect,' as I am quite 'impoifect.' I've only been forgiven of my sins, through the blood that was shed on the cross at Calvary -- & also by my choosing to open up my heart to Him, in prayer ...that I do not know how to laugh & have a good time with my friends, saved, or not. My friends love my sense of humor, & my imitations o everyone else including farm animals. Lol ...that I am not a human being, with human emotions like you. I have them! So, please don't take a crap on me, & neglect me & my feelings, just because I'm forgiven of my sisns, by JC. ...that I forgot how to make my partner feel good privately -- (you know whut I mean!) I KNOW how to do that. TRY ME! ...that all I know how to do is to quote scripture, because I am knowledgable in a variety of areas of conversation., so kindly do not stand in judgment of me. Thanks. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------My Personal Transportation------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I normally get around with a silver "Mongoose-Blackcomb" dual suspension mountain bike w/a bike trailer in tow, to pull my groceries, or bike tools. I perform most of the repairs on the thing myself, & I've become quite proficient at bike repair, through years of practice. -- Before you judge me as to "why" I don't drive, allow me to explain.. ``````````````````````````````````````````````I do not drive, because of the following terrific reasons``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` 1) I know of no one who is willling to give me time behind the wheel of their car, -- including my so-called "friends!!"````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` 2) I do not possibly see the point of owning some super-cheap junkyard piece'a crap, that's only gonna nickle & dime me to death, & would break down & leave me stranded in the middle'a nowhere. I will not put myself in that situation. Y? I'll tell you. Bu'cuz umm .... YOU are not gonna pick me up, & neither is anyone else gonna take time out of their precious busy day to drive all the way out to east 'Jabipp' ta' come get me.````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` 3) Who's gonna pay the repair bills, when my junky jallopy kicks the bucket out in the middle'a amish country? -- You?`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` 4) Where could I possibly park in the city? (NY city/Lancaster city/Philladelphia city/ ... (Whutever city, all of em,' busts driver's balls!!)``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` 5) I refuse to pay 3 - $5.00/gal. for gas. It ain't happen'n, I'm sorry. Maybe you don't mind it, but I do. Fa'get it!!``````````````````````````````` Now you know precisely "why," I do not drive. So now, there's no more mystery. Lol ```````````````````````````````` I´m well known around my town, by the name that´s affixed to my bike trailer: ´ANDYTRAK..´ Lol. That´s my transportation.

About you

SWF (Single White Female) / SHF (Single Hispanic Female), meaning: Unmarried, Single, or Widowed. NOT SEPARATED/NOT MARRIED! 25-40 years of age / 170-250LB / 5´6"-6´6" -- I would prefer that you´d be at least 6´ tall, but if not, it´s alright/ Any color hair / Any color eyes / I LOVE BBW types of women. (Big Beautiful Women). I have a thing for your type, if you´re a BBW, that is. -------------------------------------------Please remember yer manners. I cannot stand rude, discourteous behavior. -- Especially from women. That makes me absollutely sick, & it pisses me off, so umm ... don´t be like that around me, OK -------------------------------------------I love: a woman who has a very gentle touch, & I love when you´re a good masseur. (Did I spell that right? Lol) I love when yer a great kisser, & a slow kisser. Full lips is what I pref., I pref. big soft hands. I love women who take very good care of themselves, & in their more personal aspects of life, are VERY CLEAN. That´s something that ´d just ruin the whole thing. Please don´t be a dirty pig, who´se got some ridiculous phobia, of a bar´a soap---------------------------------------------------------------------I so look forward to finding a woman that knows how to cook, & can do it really well, without turning me from a hot air balloon, into an outright blimp. LOL I hope that if you can cook well, that you primarilly make healthy stuff for me. I love homemade italian dinners.----------------------- ------------------------------------------Do you have any special ´likes?´ Please tell me. I do care about your feelings, ya know------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Your Faith------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ... Does not matter to me, as long as you do not stand in judgment of me, for mine, OK? - I will NOT accept anyone who stands in judgment of me, because I follow Christ. Judge me, & I will surely dump you, shortly after I bust yer balls. Don't be mean to me. - I don't deserve it, I don't need it, & I will go up against people like that. Be polite, be nice, & be accepting of me, just as you too ask for the the same treatment, in the reverse. That's all. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------In case you´d like to contact me to explore the possibility of a relationship, PAY ATTENTION!------------------------------------------ -------------------------------------------ALL calls are screened, so ... don´t be nasty. If I do something wrong, or say something that pisses you off once in a while, work it out with me, in a calm fashion. I´m very ameenable, & I´ll listen to you. I understand that you get angry at times, as I do too, but whut I´m talking about is, do not curse me out repeatedly, or leave me continuous cursing messages on my answerring machine aimed at me, personally. None of that. -- General bad language is more acceptable & understandable to me, rather than it being aimed directly at me, as in calling me all kinds of curse words. Kindly keep in mind, that I am Evangelical clergy, who´s been given the Holy Spirit through Jesus Christ, & weather ya' wanna believe it or not, you need to respect it, OK? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Attackng God´s annointed--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- runs the very real risk of bringing a painful response upon you, by Him. You know who I mean! (JC) You have wisdom? Use it. Particularly, do not go out of your way to harm me, with some 'spell,' if yer involved in witchcraft. It´s OK by me, if you dress gothic. I´m not not yer judge. No man/woman has power over me anyway, but Him & His Son is protecting me spiritually, with His seal. I've been sealed in the 'new ark,' in the new & everlasting covenant, by His might. There is reccompense for our actions. I´m not immune from it, neither is anyone else. Show mercy, & you shall obtain mercy. Hence the biblical saying: "You reap what you sow." --------------------------------------------1 last thing on the list for the snakes only: DO NOT come to me, if you're a male-female "transgender." I'm NOT looking for that, understand? I'm not it, baby! GO AWAY. I'll tell you why: IF things get steamy, & I find out yer not a female ... That's not good news for you. Make double, & tripple sure, that you are a female BY BIRTH. Thass juss the way it is. Period. I'm glad we ALL understand, ladies!------------------------------------------ -------------------------------------------My Location & Yours. !PAY ATTENTION!------------------------------------------------------------------- My Feelings About "Long Distance Relationships"-------------------------------------------------- I approach those types of relationships with extreme caution, as they have attendancy to well ............ fail, miserably. I mean quite honestly, it depends IF yer really that impressive to me, (or not.) IF. & I mean ... IF you're that impressive to me, with a very good attitude ... a good heart in the Lord, & I know that you're sincere, & truly desire to meet up with me, then terrific. I give you my word, that I am sincere in my intentions, in that I will meet you at the appointed place, unless I drop dead of a heart attack from eating too much Cornbeef Hash. LOL -- Seriously ... I give you my word on that, that if you & I make up to meet somewhere, I will do the very best that I can to be on time, to meet you. We could make up a time & a place to meet in public of course, & that would work for me.------------------- -------------------------------------------!NO FOREIGNERS!------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Is that clear enough for you? You must live here in the USA, & be a LEGAL citizen of the USA, if you so desire a relationship with me.. NO exceptions, & NO baloney! IF you are here in this country, on a "temporary VISA," I am happy for you. I'm glad you're here, But ... GO AWAY. DO NOT WASTE MY TIME. I cannot offer you a relationship, nor am I willing to. There's several good reasons why, & believe me, I've got'em. I'm sorry, but I don't trust you.

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